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SHAMEFUL!

That is what I feel now.  I am shameful not for me but for my own species, the highly injected testosterone kind.  I am raging mad and angry at these people who made countless women go insane, mad, broken hearted, sad and turn stone cold.  Seriously, I am fucking angry because you know why?  It makes the rest of the guys, the honest ones, look bad.  Yeah I know, some of you say, 'Hey, its not my fault, I'm not like those guys, I'm different'.  To the women who have been cheated and lied far to many times, you are no different from the rest and don't deny it because every male has those genes implanted in them, its just a matter of controlling it.  These women would have heard and seen the same thing over and over again by these people.  Saying the same stuff initially but in the end, end up like the rest of the other guys...an asshole, a jerk, a cheater, a liar and a wanker.

This month itself, I have seen too much not to be shameful of my own kind.  Yesterday really takes the cake of it all, as I received not 1 but 2 shocking news about what men has done to women.  This is not taking into account about men abusing women physically.  Hey c'monlah, what have these women done to you guys?  Too many shit has happened to these women by the bad guys that ALL guys to them are the same and they can't differentiate the good one from the bad ones anymore.  Not only that, why go and hurt them in the first place?  I know several girls who have turned stone cold because of this.  Having men lie, cheat and deceit them time and time again until they can't feel it anymore..they are just numb from all feelings of love.  If you have checked out my posting 'About A Girl', my friend too suffered the same fate.  She is all out of love and stoic.  Guys don't mean anything to her except to ask for material stuff because she sees men as the provider for her needs.  She doesn't need love nor does she need caring.  All that she wants is money from these men because all that THESE kinda men want from her is just a fuck and to keep her from anyone else.

Then there is another story of a woman, who became the second wife of a strong figure.  She was beaten and abused by her hubby because her hubby got flack from the 1st wife.  Why marry someone, care and love her to become your punching bag?  Now what is that all about?  Because of that, she goes into raging fits because she couldn't vent out her anger to him scared of the repercussions at hand.  I do not know what has happened to her, because last I heard she got seperated but her hubby still wouldn't let go of his 'trophy wife'.

Then 2 more shockers I received and I thought 1 was bad but 2 was just too much for me to take which made me want to write about it.  I realized that men, just can't take no for an answer.  They would be insistent and consistent until it drives women away.  Sometimes there is just too much for a person to handle with too many people poking into their private lives, trying their luck to 'get' a person that is just becomes sickening and tired.  Stopping short of being a Hollywood actress with Paparazzi following them, this fantastic girl has the same problem, people expect too much from her that she just can't handle it.  Not only that, but the kind of guys that wants her are cheaters and liars and that is a fact.  Almost all of them are currently attached but still want her.  Why?  Why try your luck on this person when you already have another on the other hand.  She is so stressed with these kind of men and fed up, tired and bored of men who come out with the same lines over the years and say "I'm not like the rest of the guys, I'm different" but end up EXACTLY like the rest of those jerks who cheated on her and lied to her.  When you give your everything into a relationship, you strive hard for it and find out there is nothing there, in the end you just lose it and find out its not worth loving anyone anymore and ending up getting tired from it all...really lethargic.  Too much was expected of when she has nothing else to offer.  But I believe in her and see that she has a lot too offer but its kept hidden somewhere, heavily guarded from anyone, only to be released to the right person whom she really trusts and that is the thing which is tiring her out, safeguarding her feelings and putting up shields to protect herself from all these nonesense people going after her.  I also see a strong person hidden somewhere in there, its just that she needs time to regain her strength because a lot of things demand her time and effort which sucks the energy from her.  Hope she is well wherever she is.

But the coupe-de-gras of news came to me right after the other.  As I went home from already being sad, I got another shocking news but I can't discuss about that now.  I slept around 4am that Saturday morning knowing well that I had an offsite meeting from 9am - 6pm but I just couldn't sleep, thinking why are men doing these to women.  What have these women done that deserved them to be cheated and lied to?  When these women are loyal and honest in a relationship they end up being hurt?  Why?

Where have all the good honest men gone to?  I know a few but then again, too few to mention and they get shadowed by the characters of other men who loom larger over them, shrouding them with lies, deceit and dishonesty.  Because of these characters, ALL MEN are now liars and cheaters no matter whether they are truthful and honest and ALL women are now materialistic creatures brought by men who used women.  Just like World Wildlife Fund says "If the buying stops, the killing will too".  If you stop buying these womens' hearts, stop cheating and become dishonest with them, you stop the killing of their feelings and hearts. 

Can a leopard change its spots?

 

Here kitty kitty kitty....

I have been asked this question many times before.  Can a leopard change its spots?  Not a zoologist but an animal lover myself, a leopard can't change its spots, but can a person's character and personality change over time?  My answer would be yes and no.

Why the duality in the answer?  Am I fickle with that statement?  I guess not.  To me there would be reasons for someone to change his or her character over time and this is my observation and opinion.

1.  A person can change his/her character IF something of catastrophic scale would fall onto them. 
Example 1: An unruly or reckless driver.  He drives around fast, cutting in and out with his fast car and thinks that he's Alonso on the streets.  One day, while showing off to his friends or girlfriends he meets with a bad accident due to his recklessness and the passenger dies.  That is something that would shock his system and traumatize his senses.  That person would never ever drive the way he would before.
Example 2: A junkie or alcoholic had to do something rash to get their addiction fixed.  The outcome was deadly to someone close to him/her.  Final result, after the person sobers or comes clean, would repent and change his/her life forever.
Example 3: A person has lived his/her life before.  Partied, enjoyed life to the fullest and prolly did some stuff that later on would prolly make him/her regret.  This too can change the person's life for the better

Basically, based on these examples, we can see that a person can change his character because of trauma or self motivation or they just got plain bored.  How many people do you know, who has lived their lives to the fullest when they were younger and after a few years down the road, has stopped it all.  The almost all too familiar "been-there-done-that" syndrome. 

2.  There are times too that the person still cannot change their character or personality.  Most probable cause would be their surroundings or community that they are in.
Example 1: A junkie or alcoholic decided to call it quits and change their lives for the better.  Because of the environment or friends that they have, they get influence back into doing the bad shit they were doing before.  No matter how strong your will power is, you prolly would fall back into doing it as you would before.
Example 2: Someone who has the power and means to continue what they are doing before and continue to do what they have done before because they have that capability to continue it. These are the people who have the ability to make the change, but they can't because they are so used to what they were doing and find it comfortable as long as his/her demand has the supply.  These are the kind of people just loves to cheat, lie, deceit and sometimes shoplifters too can be in this catagory.  They know they have the capability to change and be contented with it but they can't.

In my life, I have seen some people change and some people still haven't.  I was suprised to see some people in my life, change for the better.  These people include my cousin and some close friends.  I never imagined how it could be done, until I too changed.  As in my earlier post sometime late last year, I have also changed for the better.  It was a bit drastic then and was a shock to many people whom I was close with but now the ripple has died down and they accept me and the new way that I am now.  I would say for a person to change, it takes a lot of determination and maturedness to figure out what went wrong in their life and changed it for the better.  A lot of people lose sight of their change.  These usually happen when they change for a cause and this cause usually due to relationships.

I admit I changed my usual bad habits mainly due to a relationship and many were afraid that if it didn't work out, I would change back to my usual 'old' self and become worse.  Happy to announce that that didn't happen.  Now why didn't it happen?  Because I realised I was tired of my 'old self and it was time to grow up and get out of my superficial shell.  There's more to life than being what I was before and I am more happy of the way that I am now.  Though tempted to go back to my old habits, I reminded myself, what the fuck for?  I would gain more trouble and hurt more people in the process and I have vowed to stop hurting people the way I used to before.  Suffice to say, I have changed some of my spots and other spots can be changed when the time comes and having a good motivational factor to do so wouldn't hurt.  It is all in the mind and will power but most of all, to change for the better takes a lot of determination because I seek for better things out there.

Remember, you can't force a leopard to change its spots, it has to happen with its own determination and maturity.

Hope you had a pleasant read.

What I Lurve To See

1. Elderly couples holding hands while walking in the shopping complex.
2. Cars stopping at the zebra crossing when a pedestrian is just about to cross the road.
3. My ATM slip shows the same balance amount no matter how much I take out (I wish).
4. Married couples having a normal friendly conversation with their other halves as though as they're friends with no mushy mushy stuff, especially over the phone.
5. People singing, dancing or laughing in their cars while they are stuck in the traffic jam as they listen to the radio.
6. People who smile back at you when you smile at them during a traffic jam.
7. Petrol prices starts dropping instead of going up.
8. Malaysia, Singapore and UK's exchange rates are the same 1=1.
9. A Lotus Elise 111S in my garage...MINE!
10. Claire Forlani in my room (wishful thinking)

Why must it happen?

I was listening to Flyfm on the radio the other day while driving to work.  Its their Big Bang Breakfast Show and they do receive callers.  One thing about the deejays (Flyguy) of course is always cheerful and full of laughter.  That particular day, a call came in and over the air, was a girl who sounded very sad, almost on the verge of crying.  You can hear the shakiness in her voice.  Flyguy went his usual "Hi Good Morning...whazzuupp" and the girl said she had just broken up with her boyfriend...and she wanted Fly to play something sad.  That was all that I caught as I had already parc fermed in my parking bay, and was about to leave my car. 

Now I feel so sorry for this girl.  What has she done that made her boyfriend breakup with her?  I was telling myself, there is one very minute.  People falling in love and people falling out of love.  People getting married and those getting divorced.  Is it worth the pain?

I had my share of dumping and being dumped.  As the song says, 'Breaking up is hard to do' is very true especially when you are in love with the person and can't live without him or her.  Falling in love is actually pretty easy actually.  You meet someone you like, you prolly have the same interest, you go out a few times, you tend to go out with other people less and less...and voila! before you know it, you're in a relationship, but what does it really take?  Love, compromise, communication, trust?  Some people would add in wealth and good looks.  I have women who tell me that money can't buy happiness..well to some extent it can, to those who seek  wealth over everything else, well they'll tell you sure it can buy happiness.  Just get me a condo, Beemer 3 series and a few Gold Cards and not only will she be happy, she'll make the guy VERY happy too.  So would cute guys or pretty girls.  But what if, the person runs out of money...or the guy or girl's face gets disfigured in an accident.  Does that mean that love is no more there?

I have asked many women, what kind of guy would they like to have as a life long partner.  Many would say a guy who has security (no, not a guy who works in a security company or has a portable alarm) but a guy who is stable in his career and job.  Okay I understand that because the guy IS the King of the house and supposed to bring in the bread.  A guy who understands her needs and wants, a guy who is comforting, loving, strong, sensitive..bla bla bla and the list goes on.  Guess what, that is what the girl wants 'in the most logical choice' but when that kind of man comes to her, she will find that kind of man 'boring'.  In the end, those kind of men, with those so called qualities end up just being their friend or best friend or a shoulder to cry on.  Let me ask you, how many girls do you know who would run to these kinda guys, the ones that understands them so well whenever they have problems with their boyfriends.  They would cry and tell these guys that their boyfriends don't understand them, are cheating on them, has a wife, beats them up or any other reason.  If they don't understand the guy that she's falling for, or vice versa, why stay with them or least fall in love with them?

People make mistakes.  Its the process of growing up.  You make mistakes and you learn from it but then, there are types of people who just loves the pain.  Call them sadistic, but some people, guys and girls, just love to feel the pain and being hurt, so they make the mistake time and time again.  Always choosing the wrong kind of people.  I have a friend who always chooses the wrong kind of guy.  She knows it.  She knows she wants to get married to a 'nice' normal guy but according to her, thats boring, so she keeps on dating guys who are 'bad' for her which she finds it 'interesting' and fun. 

Relationship ain't easy.  Both couples have to work on it.  The first few months seems heavenly, bliss and sublime.  After a year or two, then boredom sets in.  I'm talking even before marriage.  Imagine if they're already married.  After 3 years I guess they've already had enough of each other.  You have to change a few things, or do some things you used to do when you were dating.  Go out, do something different weird, challenging.  Go for a holiday, a fair, watch a play, watch a Hindi movie onced in awhile.  Being a relationship doesn't mean you have to be stuck in a rut.  Doing SSDD (Same Shit Different Day).  Learn to appreciate and be thankful to your partner and your partner has to do the same thing too.  Be caring but not encroaching.  Trust is something that is earned, just like respect.  You can't tell a person to 'trust' you.  They will know if they do or do not trust you without telling you and one thing I know, talk is cheap.  Its takes a real person to walk the talk.  Promises of being faithful, of love, of desire for ever is nothing new.  Never say to a person you love them unless you truly really mean it.  As for me, I can tell by their eyes whether they're sincere or not.

Now back to the starting point, why be in a relationship if you already have the bad ending in mind?  Just to fill up an empty gap?

Sorry about the ranting but I guess the world could use a bit more sincere people who sincerely love other people...sincerely.

Hope you had a pleasant read.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Ever heard the saying "What goes around comes around?".  My ex used to say that, sort of like saying don't do onto others what you don't want to be done to yourself.  Lately, I'm not sure what has been happening to me but I have seen so much of these going around.  People who treated other people badly then is now facing the wrath of their mistakes and those who do good deeds onto others are being justly rewarded.

I have heard of miracles happening to other people, not being much of a believer then has changed me greatly now.  I have been touched by a fantastic soul, one who doesn't need to say much to me, but just reminded me of my past lifestyle, made me change for the better.  As Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets" said and I quote "You make me want to be a better person".  That one line has stuck to me for sometime but never has it affected me as it has now. 

This one particular person has changed my life and has stopped me from being my old self...well sort of made me repent of all the ill doings I have done in my life and to other people.  This person doesn't need to say much and didn't force me...she just well....reminded me, and I woke up from a long slumber.  Maybe its the age that's catching up with me, maybe its the factor of feeling like settling down I don't know but not only did I feel the change, but others around me too noticed the change in me..for the better of course...and now I truly believe miracles can happen with the grace of God.  Ask and you shall receive.  I never knew it could happen so fast thru the greatness of prayers but now I truly believe.  Some things happened to me the past 1 month which is truly unexplainable except by the miracles of God. 

Although what I have been through the past 1 month may seem heavenly, the fact is far from the truth.  It ain't no bed of roses for me and this wonderful soul and all I can do is pray and ask for God's consent and blessings.  As you may have already read my previous posting about 'The One', I have truly found her but then again, its a tough struggle for the both of us to accomplish what we both want together.  I truly hope with God's blessings, one day with much patience and virtue, I shall be rewarded for me efforts.  Let's pray that that day will come...Amen.

The Buka Puasa Phenomena

Yes, its still the fasting month, just a few days away till Hari Raya Aidilfitri where the new Islamic month comes which is Syawal.  Before I start ranting about another topic, let me start off with this one.  This is what I call, the Buka Puasa Phenomena.

The Buka Puasa Phenomena happens everywhere during the month of Ramadhan.  What prompted me to write this, which I have always wanted to a long time ago based on my many years of observation of the Muslim community during the month of Ramadhan, is during the time to break the fast or "Buka Puasa".  Now what is it that makes it a phenomena?  I'm very sure that you have been to the shopping malls during the fasting month or at least did some shopping outside close to buka puasa time.  What do you observe?  Each and every eating establishment is fully packed.  No kidding!

Let's take some real life examples here.  Jalan Tuanku Abdul Razak or Jalan TAR which is fondly known is a haven for Muslims to buy their Hari Raya clothes and other festival accessories.  There is this quaint little Nasi Bryani shop called Yasin, same row with Bata, adjacent to the used to be Globe Silk Store and Mun Loong.  If you go to this restaurant during the fasting month on a weekend to break fast, you need to do your reservations latest by 12 noon of that day.  Later than that and you will get the familiar reply of "Sudah penuh" or fully booked for the time to break fast.  Imagine, its 12 noon for god's sake and people won't brake fast for at least another 7 hours and its fully booked?  They have 2 shops by the way, a distance of about 100m apart and both are fully booked.  Is their Nasi Bryani that nice?  Well I would say it fairs pretty ok, o-k only okay?  If you do get a place to sit down, by 6.50pm, you will be sitting with approximately hundreds of other people, shoulder to shoulder with hardly any free arm movement to bring your spoon or fingers to feed your mouth.  It is THAT packe and there still people waiting outside the restaurant to get in! The rice and dishes are of smaller portion too because they want to pack as many people in there with less food = more profit or either that, they just scoop whatever amount and serve it to you.  Now get this, 30 minutes after braking fast, the restaurant is 3/4 empty.  Yup, that's right.  The place where people would hustle and jostle to get a sit and eat their food for breaking fast suddenly is empty, just 30 minutes later and this phenomena is not only in that restaurant, but applies to almost all restaurants in the country, especially ones located in a shopping mall.

I was in KLCC last week, breaking fast with a friend.  I thought we could make it last minute, well it wasn't exactly last minute, we arrived there a cool 1 hour before breaking fast and get this, Kelantan Delights was full, Madam Kwan's was fully booked even Chili's too!  We opted for California Pizza and even that, was limited in space.  The food court looked like it was occupied by deranged hungry zombies who clung to their tables for dear life and would give you a low growl if you even thought of sitting down there.  Everywhere in the food court, Muslims were already there, booking their tables since 6pm!!  Guess what, by 7.30pm, the food court again is 1/2 empty.

Just today, I was breaking fast with a friend at McDonald's in Mutiara Damansara, thinking that the buffet spread was still on (we were too late).  Anyway we arrived exactly the time when the call for Maghrib prayers begun which also meant the time to break fast.  Me and my friend was at the counter queuing for 20 minutes before it was our turn to order.  The staff was moving at 'bullet time' a term used in the movie matrix when the bullets slowed down and you can see the shock waves emanating as the bullet fly out of the barrel in slo mo.  Yup, these guys were moving slower than slo mo, they were moving in bullet time.  I thought, why can't they serve a small cup of plain water for those Muslim's waiting in line to have their orders taken?  Is it that hard?  They used to do that when McDonald's was introduced many years back, why not now?  I commented with a hint of sarcasm to the boy (he looked a little pissed off when I told him) that he should tell the management they should serve a small cup of drink to the Muslims waiting in line because it took my 20 minutes just to get to the front.  No thanks to all the recently finished SPM students.  One boy was just standing around, looking amazingly blur!

What I would normally do now is whenever I go out shopping for Raya clothes especially in a mall, when its time to break the fast, I would normall break by small piece of bun or chicken pie and a drink which i would buy from the bakery shop.  Sit down on the bench somewhere in the mall and enjoy my meal in peace with the disturbance of queuing for long hours, sitting down and holding a table for 1 hour or eating not out of a sardin can but literally IN a sardin can.  I would take my time to finish my pie or the bun, finish a cup of drink and continue shopping for about 30 mins or so and then go to the restaurant of my choice or food court and order my meal and eat in peace.  Seriously folks, just seeing this mad rush for people to 'kiasu'-ly break their fast really makes me shake my head.  Not only do you get to enjoy your meal slowly without arm wrestling with the person beside you, but you actually get bigger portions of the meal compared to the mad buka puasa rush.  Don't believe me, give yourself a treat and go to Restaurant Yasin on Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman.  My tip, buy some kueh or bun and a cup of drink, break your fast outside the restaurant and wait 15 - 20 minutes.  You would be amazed how fast the restaurant clears its customers.

Let's B-O-O-G-I-E on down

Hey there y'all.  Haven't been posting much lately not because I'm busy, but this stupid webrowser I am having keeps crashing on me when I'm typing nonsensical items like this.  So after some 5 paragraphs, it just hangs.  Know how irritating that is?

Well, constant saving of whatever I typed is my saviour.

Have you been to clubs lately?  I am not sure whether its the same around the world but the clubbing scene (nothing to do with golf clubs or sporting sort, unless you consider bird watching a sport) here in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia, is sooooooo utterly boring.  Let me give you some observations regarding clubbing in Kuala Lumpur.

1.  If you want to look cool, buy bottles and bottles of liquor.  It doesn't matter whether you actually drink it but having several bottles of liquor especially the 'cannon' types, you know, those humongous ones with the cradle to pour the liquid out coz putting a small tap at the bottom will define it as a beer barrel.  Somehow, in KL, if you do not open a bottle or two, you will be looked upon as the lowest caste in the clubbing society.  Only the high and mighty will open bottles coz its expensive and what does that show to everyone?  That they have loads of cash and who likes men with lots of cash? Women.  I have personally seen on several occasions when guys wearing clothings which would only be appropriate if you have to go out and kill a polar bear ordering 2 massive 'cannon' bottles of Chivas and Johnny.  There were only 2 guys who tried very hard looking like Puff Daddy or Snoopy Doggy Dawg or something like that and 2 very fly chicks who wanted to dance but these 2 guys just sat there, and they don't even drink that much.  Hardly touched the bottles at all.  Another time, this fellow ordered 4 bottles of liquor, one of each kind and sat there waiting there, hoping that chicks would flock to him like bees over honey, but sadly, no one came.  He and his mates decided to finish a bottle...thats right...1 bottle, but of course he got one of the best sofas to sit on because he opened 4 bottles.  Don't care whether you're alone of with 4 people.  4 bottles equals 16 people so, he got the sofa for 16 people!

2.  Clubbing isn't necessarily for dancing and having fun.  Its a hang out like the library, national monuments, shopping mall, the park...etc.  Thats right, you will see droves and droves of people coming in, sitting down, smoking, drinking..hardly chatting (coz you can't hear anything above the music) and looking around...smoking, drinking...smoking, drinking...send SMS messages ....smoking, drinking..SMS, smoking...look around.  Yup.  Clubbing is for you to have FUN!!  Why take the tables and chairs from people who really needed the rest after 1 hour on the dancefloor?  If you want to smoke, sit around and look at people, go to Starbucks for God's sake!!  These are the idiotic people who doesn't know how to have a helluva good time but yet take up space on the dancefloor or club room.  I saw this couple sitting down, yawning away when their group of friends were busy grooving the night away.  What the fish??  Go home and watch cable TV la!!

3.  Dancing.  This is my favourite part.  There are several kinds of dancing going on in clubs in KL. There are the

• Back scratcher.  These are usually done by the women.  They would put one hand on the stomach, trying to deflate it and the other would be raised slightly above their head and they wiggle up and down usually with someone behind their back.  That person at the back could be a guy or a girl, but usually it would be a girl.  This up and down wiggle with one hand up is like scratching your back against the wall or a pole.  Ahhh...that hits the spot.
• The lesbian act body to body wiggle.  These women came to the club with guys and end up dancing with their own girl friends, seductively tentalising the guys by hugging their friends together and rubbing up and down against the wall or with the girl turn away from her friend and rubbing her back to her friend's front.  This is the most common act of getting the guys heated up, as though the alcohol is not doing its job yet.
• The 'syok sendiri' one man or one woman dancer.  This person would usually look either extensively nerdy or extensively over and is dancing really 'really' hard.  There are several reasons for that person to be doing so.
  1. He/She can't do it at home because the ceiling may collapse to the apartment, condo, flat or living room below.
  2. The person said is an angle or geek or nerd at home but has wild, untamed desires to let loose.
  3. The person has just learned a new step and is trying it out showing to all his/her friends.  4. The person said is drunk.
• Table dancers.  These are the people who stand at the tables drinking, smoking and grooving at the table.  They prefer to dance 'with' the table than their own partners or any girl or guy thats clearly available there.
• The 'Feng Tau' body swiveler.  This type of dancing can be found mostly when you go to a house/techno club.  Basically these are usually done by women.  Stand with your two feet closely together and you only dance with your upper body turning it 45 degrees to the left and right following the beat.  Not that hard to do but it shows that you can't dance for nuts.
• The 'Shuffler'.  The latest trend nowdays is to shuffle dance.  Shuffling has been the craze in the 50's but never really took off here in Malaysia (back then nobody really danced I guess).  Shuffling is twisting one leg trying to move sideways while the other foot is kicking away.  No easy 'feet' so to say.  Favourite for ravers nowdays.
• The hip hop 2 step.  No, you don't actually take any steps.  You go down 2 steps.  Either bend your knees a bit to go lower (step 1) and then you repeat step 1 again to go even lower and after that straighten your back.  So its like down, down, up...down, down, up.  You can improvise by leaning sideways too.  Otherwise known as the leaning 2 step.  Goes extremely well with the song "Shake your tailfeather".  To add more to the effect, be sure to wear an oversized shiny american football jersey with huge numbers 67 or 52 that comes in the color gold, silver, blue, green or red.
• And then there are the pro's.  Well, it goes both ways.

Clearly I would say that most Malaysians are shy when it comes to dancing in clubs.  If you come at 10pm, the dancefloor and club is empty.  11pm, club is half full, dancefloor empty.  12am, club is full packed, dancefloor half filled.  1am, club is packed and dancefloor is starting to get filled up.  This shows that Malaysian clubbers need to get high or drunk in order to dance. 

98.73% of women will come in a black dress either short or shorter.  Men is divided into 2 groups, the smart looking long sleeve black shirt with 2 buttons on the top undone to show some hairy hair or gold chains and the typical t-shirt jeans type and the other the grunge Sheila on 7 look with funny weird hairdo like they just got out of the bed and drabby t-shirt with a picture of a knuckle or something and baggy jeans.  The latter will usually just mop around the club, sit around smoke and look at people.  Go to Starbucks lar!

All in all, clubbing in Malaysian ain't the same like as well, in Thailand.  Being a regular tourist to Thailand (because of our club getaways), I tend to appreciate the other side's clubbing scene.  We were in Koh Samui last year and was clubbing at this cool place called Sweet Soul Cafe on Chaweng Beach.  Over there, you hardly see anyone opening bottles of liquour.  The staple consumption is beer, Heinny or Chang.  No one bats an eye if you open bottles of Chivas or Johnny and girls over there buy their own drinks.  Imagine this, going to a semi-open air club and being the observant one, I noticed that nobody cracks a bottle except for beer and some concoction which they serve in a small pail with many straws.  Its some mixture of beer and red bull plus something potent and most of the girls were drinking that or just plain beer.

Now back to the dancing part, here I was enjoying myself grooving to the music when suddenly this girl was walking past looking for her friend.  She stopped infront of me, looked at my grooving and decided to dance with me for 5 minutes where she then gave the "wai" (aisey, that thing the Thai's do when they say Sawadee Kap) and moved on to meet her friend.  Its waaay cool!  There was another girl whom we videotaped and she saw it and not only smiled but pointed to herself and gave us a show!  Everyone who was there thoroughly enjoyed themselves dancing and grooving the night away.  There wasn't a soul like clubbing in KL where they order 2 or 3 bottles and just sit down and look at everyone else and trying to look like they have RM3billion in the bank.  Now that is what I call clubbing!!

Until There Is Only ONE

No..its not the famous line in the movie 'Highlander' but its actually regarding relationships.

How many times have you heard your friends or someone you know say either one of these ~
"I'm not looking for a wife right now, just a girlfriend"
"Stock buat bini" (to be made into a wife)
"Girlfriend is different, finding a wife is different"

Now I bet, at sometime of your life, you have heard either one of those lines or something similar being said right?  Now, the ultimate question is, which many women have asked me too, why the duality?  Why do men (almost in general) need 2 women in their life?  I guess the answer would be about growing up. 

Men, in their early stages in life would want to have fun.  They would then meet 2 types of women.
Type 1 : Women who are enjoying life, not getting enough if and wants to have fun with some minor responsibility.  These women are the 'fun' type and are chirpy and bubbly.  Men just love to hang out with these so called 'fun' women.
Type 2 : The 'I want to get married' type.  Women of this has either a) Seen enough in their younger days that they have already achieved what they want to achieve thus they want to settle down or b) They are the very gentle 'baik-baik' type that if you want to do any hanky panky business, get married first.

I have several friends whose marriages ended up with a divorce though there are those who are happily married.  I have friends who has broken up with their fiance's or long term relationships.  Back to the case, why do men need a girlfriend and also a wife (but not necessarily at the same time).  A girlfriend is someone they would want to have fun with, to go out, exciting, exhuberating.  A wife, is someone pure, untouched, unspoilt who would take care of the guy.  Even back in my college days, I still remember my friends telling other friends "I'm looking for a wife not a girlfriend".

Different it is for women.  When they look for a man, they already have the end of the story in sight, well at least the hope so.  They want the man they meet, to become their friend, boyfriend and future husband.  That is why most women are very picky when they meet men.  They don't want just a friend, a boyfriend but they need a future husband too.  Women view what they want from a particulare person, whether its just friends, good friends or more than that.

Some men usually upgrade their friendship status with a girl to girlfriend.  This is not uncommon, but women hardly upgrade their friends (male) to boyfriends.  If they see a guy they like, "WHAM!" they know it and they would go for it ... even at times thinking of him in the future.

Everyone knows that the best boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is first, you have to be good friends....really really good friends.  Most people lose friendship when they get into a relationship.  Thats when their other halves starts to get emotional.  To me, a good relationship's foundation must be based on a good true friendship first.  That is the time you get to know the other person, likes and dislikes and all the naughty bits.  Why is it when you start getting into a relationship, the 'openness' diseappears and lies and deceit takes place.  If before a guy can tell a girl that he goes to places and hits on girls not because he wants them but just for his own ego; after in a relationship, he's scared to tell her and vice versa for the girl.

True test of a long term marriage must not be an emotional one but a practical and logical one.  Keep the nagging and stupid emotions especially jealousy out of the picture.  That will ruin any relationship.  Slight jealousy in a joking manner is good for a relationship.  That shows that the other person cares and loves you, but too much of it and in a serious tone spells trouble.

So what are you looking for and what direction are you headed?

Why women perceive differently?

I had a wonderful chat with someone the other day.  Again, its about men and women.  What other topic since the dawn of time that can generate so many questions?  Well, we were sort of 'arguing' about honest and methods of implying something to someone.

I know this particular girl for sometime.  She keeps on telling me that everytime she goes out with other men, it seems that these other men are not interested in going out with her for the second round.  My friend is not that bad looking to say the least.  She's fair, has pretty eyes but I guess it boiled down to her attitude and character.  I have been going out with her for sometime and at times, she started to irritate me.  Well, she started to become more and more irritating later on and I guess I got the hint on why these men are not going for seconds with her (I meant by going out with her).  I told her that if she could just change a few things, I would guarantee that men will love going out with her again and again.  I told her to stop whining and complaining about so many little things, to be more outgoing (she doesn't like to go out and socialize - I mean, how are you supposed to me guys if you don't go out right?), and her dressing...is...eeer...something else...pretty tacky I would say.  So, being the nice person I am, I told her what needed changed but she was adamant to stay that way. 

Could you imagine this.  We went out for dinner and she wanted western food so I brought her to this nice steakhouse, only later to find out that she doesn't eat much meat.  Okay, so I guess fish or chicken was in the favour.  We went in and it was a beautiful restaurant and I told her about the decor, the ambiance and why that particular restaurant was popular.  She immediately told me she doesn't go out often and she doesn't find that place rather accommodating and she doesn't know much about things like these.  So I thought of telling her about the history of the restaurant but she ignored and insisted that she doesn't like going out.  Now I see her problem.  At that restaurant, there was one girl who seemed to catch the eye of all the patrons in there, as she bounced her way in and out of the ladies.  I gave my friend the example of that girl.  I asked her why other guys were looking at that girl and told her the reason.  She told me she's who she is and wouldn't change a bit just to get attraction or attention like the other girl.  I told her if I was one of the patron's in there, I would have clearly geared my attention to the other girl instead of her.  If you need help to get noticed, me as a guy will tell you how to get noticed.  I have had girlfriends who could literally stop traffic and make heads turn (no kidding!) and analyze what makes them that way while other girls I go out with don't?  They are not that very pretty but somehow, these women carry and aire of themselves which oozes confidence and the don't fish care about anyone else.

She was clearly taken aback with my reasoning.  I told her, attitudes and character speaks a lot about a person and to other people who watches.  It seems that women just couldn't take a criticism or advice from guys.  Let me give you a situation?

Situation A:
Girl asks boy.  "Do you think I'm pretty or why do you think that girl/woman is pretty or beautiful or how do I get guys to notice me?"  Boy answers, "I think if you would wear something like that or change your hairstyle or change the way you walk or CHANGE ANYTHING for the fact, that would make you more pretty, attractive, attention grabber etc"

In most situations, the girl would be taken aback because THEY are thinking that they are not good enough or pretty enough or beautiful enough or anything of that sort.  Now for me, I would say that only if you need to know.  I won't blurt out just like that.  If you ask me why, I'll tell you why and tell you how to change or rectify the problem, which actually is solving the problem itself.  If a girl would tell me, "Hey, you would like better in that outfit or if you could lose some weight, I'm sure many girls would fall for you", hell I would surely do that.  Why?

To me, if that girl would say that kind of advice to me it shows that the girl would want ME to look better.  She knows I would look better if I would change whatever she says and I know she would feel better and more comfortable if other people would comment by saying that I look better.  For sure, if that girl would buy me clothes which she says would look good in me, it already shows that she likes me looking good.  Now why wouldn't a girl feel that way?  If I would buy a girl or tell a girl that she would look nicer in a certain outfit, most of them would generally say no and that thought that I think she doesn't already look good enough for me.

So comments coming from a guy or a girl IS different when it comes to outlook or personality change.  I have come out from being the negative person whenever other people ask me to change my attitude or character.  I would take it as a challenge and make things better, not to sulk or take it the wrong way.  If someone told me I should walk up straight, not to slouch, smile more etc, I would do it because, they person knows it would be better for me.  In a matter of fact, why would I give the wrong advice to women?  I'm a straight guy and I know that my opinion reflects the 80% majority of other guys, so if a woman wants to change to get attention, why would they be taken aback and feel retorted if I would advise or suggest something for them to change?  Something is just a mystery.

Have you ever wondered...

When you're in a lift with some people you don't know, everyone keeps quiet?

When you're at the car wash, and you have to sit outside waiting for your car to be washed and there are other people waiting for their cars to be washed, sit down quietly or text message someone and not talk to you?

When you're stuck in a traffic jam and you look at the people beside you and you smile, they think you're nuts?

When you move your car an inch or two at the traffic light which is still red, everyone behind you moves an inch or two and they well know that the light is still red.

Why some cars endure the swearings and honking from other people because they just want to get ahead .... just one car infront of you in a traffic jam.

Someone of the opposite sex knows you for years, is not homosexual, is very comfortable with you and knows you are always there when they need you, never become your steady?

Some things are better left unanswered

What does it mean?

I'm sure many of you have heard this line before "I like you, but only as a friend" or "I don't want to spoil the kind of friendship that we have".  What does that mean?

The rules of friendship is simple.  A platonic relationship with no emotions involved.  Rules of relationship is as above plus emotions and physical involvement.  Now the latter definitely is more fulfilling.  Why?  Coz you get the full treatment.  Let me give you some example and I bet at one time or another either yourself or someone you know may have gone through this.  I've always believed that a good relationship has to start from a very good friendship.  You start to talk things that are in common, you do stuff which both parties love to do, you know friends from both sides and eventually you'll fall in love, you get married, you have kids and the rest goes into the history books.

Situation A
Girl has boyfriend.  Girl has this guy friend.  Girl is not satisfied with his boyfriend's behavious, character, attitude etc.  Girl tells her guy friend.  Guy friend consoles the girl whenever the girl gets into a fight with the boyfriend etc.  Girl calls the guy everytime girl has problems with her boyfriend.  Girl confides everything to guy friend coz guy friend is not a jerk, asshole, insensitive, humorous, charming etc which are the traits of girls current boyfriend.  Girl dumps boyfriend but doesn't go for guy friend, instead girl finds another guy like her previous boyfriend.  Now why doesn't girl pick guy friend to become boyfriend since guy friend has all the traits of girls perfect boyfriend?

Situation B
Guy meets girl.  Girl likes the guy.  Girl makes friends with the guy asking guy out once in awhile.  Guy complies but keeps distance by not sharing much to the girl.  Girl keeps trying but still maintains secretive.  Girl gets fed up and goes for another guy.

In situation A, why is it that sometimes women pick men who understands them, sensitive to their needs, care for their feelings but they want to remain, just as friends.  When women says to a guy, that they are just friends, its actually a boyfriend without sex.  Now its okay if the guy is gay but any normal testosterone filled male will eventually fall for the girl as the male 'friend' realises the girl's needs and become more sensitive to it.  There are many women out there who complain about their guys to their guy friends and they know for a fact, that these guys friends would make a perfect relationship but they just don't want to spoil the friendship and keep on making the same mistakes with other guys again and again.  So again and again, the girl goes back to the guy friend and borrows a shoulder to cry on.  The guy she keeps talking to, knows everything about her.  What she likes, what she dislikes, what emotional needs she needs and most of all, give her all the strength so that she can make the same stupid mistake with other men.  It would have stopped all the pain only if she would have chosen the guy friend (only if the guy friend is interested in her).

In Situation B, the guy clearly shows that he's really just looking for a female friend to have some plain activities with, have a drink, chat and stuff...just like guys having guy friends.  Now thats clear cut.  The question is, how thin is that line that borders between friendship and relationship?

For the girls out there who do not know how it feels when a guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl but the girl says " I like you, I'm always there for you but only as a friend", should watch Spiderman when Mary Jane realised that Peter Parker who initially was just a friend to her is the person she's in love with.  Peter replied "I'll always be your friend" and see the look of frustration on her face.  She wanted more than being a friend.  She wanted to be loved, cared, caressed and emotionally intwined with him and Peter knows that, but he had to say the word "friend".

If you keep telling your friend who is the opposite sex everything about your life, your hopes and your dreams, your ups and your downs, your daily routine at home and at work and your friend understands you better than your other half, always there to support you emotionally or any other kind and hardly get themselves into any argument, wouldn't those 2 people make a better couple than their current other halves? More often people would say " I wish he/she understands me like you do" or "I wish he/s she knows me better or is more like you"  and somehow it always comes with the dreaded word, "thanks for listening/understanding and being my friend".

So I think I can conclude that, girls can't tell a guy everything or make him your pillar of emotional, spiritual or physical support and think that they guy won't have any feelings for the girl after a period of time, unless the guy is gay.  Some women however can accept if the guy spills his guts out about his bad breakup or complain about his other half and still don't have feelings for him, because they invented the word "friend". 

Then again, its still up to the individual.  So again, can friendship turn into a relationship because friends can turn into lovers, but that is another posting.

Can't Understand

Several days back, near my house, I was driving to work in the morning and noticed that a car got stuck in a rain gutter hole. It seems that someone had removed the grill that closed the rain gutter hole, much like a man hole by the side of the road. The rain gutter is to facilitate the water runoff from the road into the drains.

Funny thing was, the whole street was missing the grill from the gutters, which meant that someone had stolen it all. What was on their freaking minds? I mean, there are other stuff which you can steal and hell no, it was something that can endanger other people's lives. Sure it was unlucky for that car to get stuck in the hole but what if it was a motorbike? People can be thrown off the bike to be run over by an ACME truck.

Something similar was stolen at my house and several other neighbour's houses. The grill which covers the drain hole was covered and luckily my uncle realised it when he stopped over my house. I could have just reversed right into the drain hole as it was something we usually take for granted to be there and it has been there for many years.

Spoke to someone on the radio 9W2YD, and he said times are hard and people steal it for money. Even road signs are not spared. It seems that certain people will pay up to a few Ringgit Malaysia for a kilogram of those aluminium signboards. Now, how many road signs do you need to rip out to make a decent living? How many thousands of kilos of road side gutter grill and drain grills do you need to haul just to make a 100 Ringgit? 9W2YD said that if he catches one of the thieves, don't lock him in jail. Since they stole community and public materials, they should be punished doing civic and public work, such as sweeping the roadsides or trimming the trees by the road with a sign hanging behind saying "I'm a thief and I've repented". I told 9W2YD, it was a good idea and make them wipe all the traffic lights in town plus the road signs and also to put back the road signs which they have stolen. We laughed.

Now what were they thinking? I hope these people will land their cars or bikes into those drains which other people like him had done his job in his neighbourhood. See how irritating it can be.